Bravo!! That’s a great piece Simon and says what I’ve been trying to find the words to say for a long time.
One passage in particular stood out: “…is the performative unburdening of feelings, a kind of therapeutic exhibitionism, any healthier?” I doubt it. That appeals to a certain kind of man, someone looking for attention and not for help.
“And I suspect most of the men I’ve lost wouldn’t have gone anywhere near a talking circle or therapy group. After all, aren’t these concepts the polar opposite of every instinct towards self-reliance that is hard-wired into the male psyche?” I think we forget, or liberal progressives forget, that we are at a base level animals smeared over with a thin veneer of civilisation.
I was invited along to a “men’s group” it was supposed to blend doing men things - ‘giving men the space to be men’ - with space to talk but it soon descended in to psychobabble.
I often feel many men have lost their role in society; heavy industries have all but died out and somehow stacking shelves in Tesco or manning reception in the local leisure centre doesn’t quite cut-it for the instinctive hunter-gatherers that we all once were.
Thank you, I’m really glad that it resonated with you on some level. Like you, I find that a lot of well-intended ideas around this topic can quickly descend into something quite alienating. It’s interesting that you also factor in the loss of roles and work that were historically places where it was socially acceptable to have a form of belonging; these places weren’t replaced with anything meaningful, just a void. I also find it jarring to see men who have retired from, or been made redundant from, their profession or trade manning the self-scan tills in Tesco. I don’t think we fully acknowledge the impact of losing not just a job, but a role, a responsibility, and an identity built over many years.
Bravo!! That’s a great piece Simon and says what I’ve been trying to find the words to say for a long time.
One passage in particular stood out: “…is the performative unburdening of feelings, a kind of therapeutic exhibitionism, any healthier?” I doubt it. That appeals to a certain kind of man, someone looking for attention and not for help.
“And I suspect most of the men I’ve lost wouldn’t have gone anywhere near a talking circle or therapy group. After all, aren’t these concepts the polar opposite of every instinct towards self-reliance that is hard-wired into the male psyche?” I think we forget, or liberal progressives forget, that we are at a base level animals smeared over with a thin veneer of civilisation.
I was invited along to a “men’s group” it was supposed to blend doing men things - ‘giving men the space to be men’ - with space to talk but it soon descended in to psychobabble.
I often feel many men have lost their role in society; heavy industries have all but died out and somehow stacking shelves in Tesco or manning reception in the local leisure centre doesn’t quite cut-it for the instinctive hunter-gatherers that we all once were.
Thank you, I’m really glad that it resonated with you on some level. Like you, I find that a lot of well-intended ideas around this topic can quickly descend into something quite alienating. It’s interesting that you also factor in the loss of roles and work that were historically places where it was socially acceptable to have a form of belonging; these places weren’t replaced with anything meaningful, just a void. I also find it jarring to see men who have retired from, or been made redundant from, their profession or trade manning the self-scan tills in Tesco. I don’t think we fully acknowledge the impact of losing not just a job, but a role, a responsibility, and an identity built over many years.